Resurrection of Duke Werstein ~ I Didn’t Hear Anything About Being A Middle-aged Man ~ 52

//Melki: sorry for not updating the last 2 weeks, just life. But you can expect lots of updates this week, maybe I'll even catch up to the raws with another week or so.

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When I said the name that I was familiar with before I was born, I felt like crying because it was my name, but it just didn’t feel right.

But I'm still me, so nothing will change in the end, I thought to myself over and over again.

My body has become a sage’s, so I'm sure I can also change my appearance.

But I thought that doing so now would hurt Alfred-san's heart even more, so I stopped.

I'm sure he would like to hear my own words that have entered Augusto-san's body.

In the meantime, Alfred-san was looking at me as if he was confused by the unfamiliar sound.

“Takada Youko-sama... Is it?"

"Yes... Last name Takada and first name Youko."

I gave him a brief explanation and he nodded as if he understood.

It's not that he doesn't understand because he was born and raised in a different world.

I had a vague feeling that this was the case.

"Then... Takada-sama, may I ask what kind of person you are?"

"Well... I'll be twenty-four next year. I'm a woman who wanted to be an actress, but couldn't."

As I was explaining, the low voice that came out of my throat irritated me because it didn't fit the tone of my voice.

But still, I had to say it, and I had to speak as myself, so I held back.

I put a lot of pressure on my throat, which was getting tighter, and looked at the man in front of me.

Alfred-san opens his mouth as if to make sure.

"... Wait, you're a woman, right?"　

"Yes."

He affirmed simply, and before Alfred-san could say anything else, he folded.

"That's why I haven't been able to tell you."

This is the first time I've ever seen such a thing.

It must have been astonishment, guilt, resentment, or something of that sort.

He stared at me, his eyes widening as if in a panic.

In the midst of the stress that pushed up my stomach, I took a breath to speak the truth.

"Ever since I woke up, I've been living as Augusto-san, based on his memories."

This was something that I was not allowed to tell anyone, something that I should not have said.

But I had to tell this person, so I said it, ready to throw everything away.

As I stared at Alfred-san and he put his hand on his forehead and looked up at the ceiling.

"Oh, my God."

It was a very painful muttering that was far from what I usually hear.

Whether it’s lamentation or something more complicated, I who was not him, did not know its meaning.

But all I could hear in his voice were the above two things.

It was probably just an illusion, but I felt thirsty, so I picked up the cup of tea that Alfred-san had prepared for me again and put it in my mouth.

I don't know when I put this tea back in the saucer.

When I put it back on the saucer, I heard it was just when I stroked Alfred-san's head.

In addition, I remembered that I had been stroking Alfred-san's head while holding it in my left hand on the saucer for a long time, and I was fed up with the greatness of these specs.

When I think about it, for some reason I feel a little more relaxed, which is strange.

When I breathed in through my nose, the nice smell of tea escaped my nostrils.

...... Uhm, okay, I'm fine. It's the same old me.

I can't just stand here forever, I have to talk to them.

I pulled myself together and looked at Alfred-san as I set my cup down on the saucer I was carrying.

After a few moments of silence, he lowered his hand from his forehead, looked at me to make sure, and quietly opened his mouth.

"...... So, Master"

His voice was a little husky and somewhat decisive, so he must have understood everything before he asked.

But still, he needs my words.

Without taking my gaze off Alfred-san, I said.

"… Augusto-san hated and despised the world and wanted to go to Julia-san, so he threw everything away and died of poisoning."

My words, without any acting.

The tone of my voice was uncomfortable, but I thought it was the only way, so without hesitation, I just told the truth.

"I was killed by God's mistake, but I wanted to live.

That's why I'm here."

That is my truth, without any falsehood.

It's all for me, but even if it's just for my own self-satisfaction, it's still something I have to say.

So I just tell the truth.

"...... Master is no longer with us, is he?"

Alfred-san's face contorted in pain, but for some reason he's smiling slightly, and it's painful for me.

"I'm sure he's laughing with Julia-sama right now."

This is a baseless statement, but I feel like it, so it must be true.

I'm sure that my intuition is correct, because Augusto-san's body specs are amazing.

"............ Yes, you see, the Master cared more about his wife than he did about us, it can’t be helped."

Alfred-san looks down apologetically.

Then I heard a voice that sounded like it was about to cry.

"But why didn't you consult with me about anything, Master…?"

It must have been his sorrow from the bottom of his heart.

It's a regret that can't be helped at this point in time, like if I had done something differently at the time, or if I had done something like this, my fate might have been different.

I'm the same way, so I know exactly how you feel.

"…… That was something he couldn’t say, because Augusto-san was a weak person”

"… I wasn’t trustworthy?"

"That's not true."

Alfred-san muttered in a daze, but I assured him crisply as I looked at him.

"To Augusto-san, Julia-san was the world, the sun, but you were the support of his heart."

I didn't need to search my memory to understand the absolute trust he had in Alfred-san.

This was proof that Augusto-san had always cared for Alfred-san.

"Augusto-san was a scaredy cat, so he was afraid that you would find out and hate him"

So, he would have hated if you started to hate him, so rather than that might as well"

After a breath or a beat, I opened my mouth again.

“He tried to destroy everything himself"

That's why he threw it all away.

If it was going to slip through his hands one day and destroy everything, then why not do it all himself?

For some reason, I could understand that feeling.

I'm sure the feelings are ingrained in my body.

It must have been painful, sad, and extremely difficult.

I feel like an idiot, but I'm just as sad.

“Oh, no...! Ah, Master…!!"

Alfred-san covered his face with his hands and lamented.

His shoulders are shaking, so he must be crying.

I'm sure he's crying because his breathing is the same as that of someone who is crying, which I've learned through acting.

So I gently pat Alfred-san's back.

Slowly, just like my mother used to do for me when I was little.

I don't know how long I've been doing this, but suddenly, Alfredo-san looked up at me.

"...... Why did you decide to live as a Master?"

"I don't have a deep reason, except that I found out."

I ended up wanting to live.

I ended up knowing.

There is no reason other than that.

In fact, I didn't even think I needed a reason.

"It's not that I'm not a good person.

This is an undeniable fact, and it is something that cannot be changed, something that cannot be helped.

It is the same as a person who is born into the world cannot foresee what will happen in life."

So, I had to live as me.

I have regrets about dying for nothing, but I have no regrets about living as Augusto-san now.

"Is that so?"

The muttering voice of Alfred-san was a bit scratchy, and yet somehow he was looking at me with dazzlingly narrowed eyes.

".. One thing you can be assured of is that my goal is to relieve Augusto-san’s regret"

"Regret?"

When I told him to postpone, Alfred-san looked at me strangely and asked me a ruminative question.

So I decided that I should share what I had learned today with him.

"The deadly disease that caused Julia-san's death was a terrorist attack by agents of a neighboring country."

"...... What?"

"I'm talking about massive, indiscriminate mass murder."

“Wh ......?

After his eyes widened in surprise, Alfred-san made a serious expression and straightened his bearing.

With that in my sight, I picked up my cup of tea again, moistened it in my mouth, and then opened my mouth again.

"It was done by a neighboring country during the war to reduce the power of this country, and Julia-san was just involved in it."

"That's... Can you tell me what this is all about?"

“Okay."

I explain the whole story to him.

How the disease was a curse, how it was transmitted and how it spread.

What is the purpose of the neighboring country and what is of the curse now.

When I finished my explanation, Alfred-san's face was in a state of shock.

I've never seen anything like it before, it was filled with anger, it looked very painful, and then it looked sad.

"You've got to be kidding me...! How many people have been killed by that disease?"

The indignation, sadness, and helplessness I felt seemed to be conveyed through his expression as much or more than I did.

Even though he was wearing gloves, his fists were clenched so tightly that I could hear a squeezing sound, and I could smell a faint smell of rust.

Could it be that he was injured or something?

The next moment, Alfred-san looked up at the ceiling.

“Cinza! You're here, right!"

"Yes, yes, I've heard it all..."

And then, with a scary look on his face, he called out for Cinza-san, and Cinza-san, who was called out without any hesitation, came down from the ceiling.

"........."

I was so surprised that I almost let out a little noise, but when I turned around, I realized that Cinza-san's presence was indeed near me all along.

It's true that I hadn't been paying attention to it until now, but what's the point of waiting for someone to call out to me when I've been there the whole time and didn't even make a comment?

But I don't feel like I can even mention it.

"Neighboring country's upper echelons, please investigate as much as you can."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do. Isn't that what Master wants?"

"I'm not the Master you know, is that okay?"

The grayish-silver, emotionless eyes look at me.

His eyes narrowed softly before any fear or other emotion came to him.

"Well, for me, you've been my Master since the day I met you, so to be honest, I don't really have anything to say about you being different."

This was said lightly and smoothly, as if it was nothing, and it just fell into my heart.

"Well, I was really surprised to know it's a girl on the inside, but that's all, so don't worry about it too much."

He laughed with a lightness that almost made me feel like I was missing a beat.

"It's a good thing that I found out about you early on, since we're going to be together for a long time anyway. Right, butler-san"

"...... Yes, that’s right, I suppose"

I looked at Cinza, who was looking at Alfred-san as if to ask for his agreement, and Alfred-san, who was looking at me as if to hook me.

Then he looked at me with a kind face.

"You are not Master.

But that is no reason to deny you.

I'm really sorry."

"...... I will continue to play Augusto-san, is that okay?"

"If that's what you want, I won't stop you.

But if it is possible, I would like to know a little bit about you from time to time."

I tried to say, if that's what you want, I don't mind, but I couldn't seem to get the words out.

My vision blurred, and something trickled down my cheek.

I don't know what it was, but it was probably tears, and I couldn't stop crying without thinking about it.

It was the first time in a long time that I was able to cry in front of someone to the fullest.

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A/n: I'm sorry for the delay in updating, and for being so short this time.

For real, please, calm down. ...... ( ´•ω•` )

I'll try my best to get it up sooner next time!

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